🚀 go-pugleaf

On Tuesday, July 12, 2022 at 9:32:35 AM UTC-7, HC wrote:
> On Tuesday, July 12, 2022 at 12:27:34 PM UTC-4, Rachel wrote: 
> > On Tuesday, July 12, 2022 at 9:00:24 AM UTC-7, HC wrote: 
> > 
> > > This is the lady who sends unsolicited packages through the mail, 
> > > despite being asked politely not to several times. Of course, they are 
> > > all thrown away without opening, for safety’s sake, but it’s disconcerting. 
> > > 
> > > This is the same lady who sends countless emails from several different 
> > > addresses so as to require special spam filtering, despite having been asked 
> > > politely not to several times. They’re all forwarded to proper authorities. 
> > The first sentence is a lie. The third sentence is a lie. 
> > 
> > I don't know about the second sentence, and the last sentence, although "proper authorities" makes no sense, as the third sentence is a complete lie. 
> > 
> > I'm out now. 
> > 
> > I'm not going to put up with being ABUSED by a psychopath any longer. (or maybe that would be sociopath, I'm not 100% clear on the difference.) 
> > 
> > And I swear, this is NOT a joke. 
> > 
> > It was even mentioned, it is VERY DIFFICULT to be this man's friend, and I, for one, have lost all interest. 
> > 
> > I'm not kidding. He may be joking around, but he has a VERY fucked up idea of what is funny then.
> Fuck off.

I suppose I should correct myself...in that my calling you out on sentences one and three as *LIES* was perhaps a misnomer, and a bit harsh. Perhaps you were merely confused, although I honestly do not believe this for one second, unless maybe you were stoned at the time, if this was even an honest prior self-revelation of yours as something you do or did. Or perhaps it was a frustrated attempt to communicate with me comfortably, and you felt awkward, and thus it came out as extremely aggressive and hurtful, as I experienced it, even though I think I know deep down, even not so deep, that you were not being fully open with me. Iow, if you were not confused, which I highly doubt, unless, as I proposed, you were stoned or something, if you even still or ever even did that, I think you are purposely saying (writing) things which we both well know aren't true, in order to expose the present nature of this possible potential folly. 

Nevertheless, I heard you barking at me in a mien I perceived as utterly condescending and dismissive of my sanity and relatively secure cognitive and spiritual foundation, which accompanies me most of the time, the last time we spoke aloud, and it immediately subdued me into a rather pathetic submissive state, as I find my affections towards you amiable, and do not care to bark back, and thus turn the entire communiqué into something ugly, nasty, and irreversibly harmful to all parties involved. Also, I have been so abused and hounded by others on this matter as well, even starting before I found, or rather, was introduced to, the world wide web, that it is the source of a great deal of pain and anger and outrage for me, and I honestly barely even know how to begin with what I have already determined is a useless attempt to amend the seemingly infinite chasm between these others and myself. Although, in some instances, looking back, I see that perhaps it was determined to be the best response at the time to my search for assistance or sympathy or validation or understanding in this matter, and perhaps I in fact completely misread the intention and meaning of the words and body language expressed to me by certain people. Who knows. Maybe one day I will look back, and find out that the whole thing was an absurd unfortunate misunderstanding and intention on my part, sort of like my reaction when I finally took a look at the cover of Oh Mercy here where I am now, while partaking of some rather extreme, "courageous," (as my doctor called it) measures. 

It was also immediately apparent, I think, perhaps I am wrong, that this was as a protective maneuver on your part, as well, and I did not care to respond in kind, and take you out of your comfort zone, if that was even possible. This proposition is fully hypothetical, in that I did not do that, and I don't believe it would have even been possible for me at the time, to have "chosen" to respond to you in such a matter, anyway. 

Nor did I have the time or space, under the pressure of your angry bark, a marine sniper no less, to collect myself, and formulate the natural response of my intellect. Although now that I picture it...I think my initial response at the time would not have been the good-natured jovial attitude I came up with afterwards, which I found rather amusing, and shared with you in email, yet I'm afraid rather baseless in fact, as far as I know, and rather, would only have been able to express profound insane histrionic disbelief, at your adopting such a momentarily destructive position on the matter, which I suppose in fact is what I did, anyway, but in a completely non-controversial, and disturbingly humbling assentation to your scathingly lobotomizing accusation.