🚀 go-pugleaf

On Thursday, June 23, 2022 at 3:44:09 PM UTC-4, george...@yahoo.ca wrote:
> On 2022-06-21 6:16 p.m., NancyGene wrote: 
> > On Tuesday, June 21, 2022 at 8:31:50 PM UTC, george...@yahoo.ca wrote: 
> >> A Work of Art 
> >> 
> >> I tried to write a work of art 
> >> With all my passion, all my heart, 
> >> But no idea of what to say 
> >> Or what I wanted to convey; 
> >> My plans were doomed, and fell apart. 
> >> 
> >> It really wasn't very smart 
> >> To take this trek without a chart: 
> >> Spontaneous writing's fine for play 
> >> But one cannot make art that way, 
> >> I should have realized from the start. 
> >> 
> >> - gjd 
> 
> > George Dance, your poem breaks down in the last line. "I should have realized from the start" just does not fit with the meter you have established. A suggestion would be "I should have known [also "seen" is a possibility] that from the start," which would put the proper stress on "known."
> Thank you for commenting, NG -- and thank you for focusing laser-like on 
> the meter. This is merely light verse, which should be good verse, and 
> especially given its content its meter should be impeccable. 
> 
> The meter is defined in L1 as IT (iambic tetrameter): 
> 
> i TRIED / to WRITE / a WORK / of ART 
> 
> Your suggestion fits that meter perfectly: 
> 
> i SHOULD / have KNOWN / that FROM / the START 
> 
> But so did my original: 
> 
> i SHOULD / have REAL/ized FROM the START 
> 
> So I don't see the "breakdown" or the need to change the line.


Looks like I spoke too soon.  :)

Merriam-Webster differs with your pronunciation of "realized":

re·​al·​ize | \ ˈrē-ə-ˌlīz  \

although a two-syllable reading should be allowable.

That said, I still agree with NancyGene that "known" is a much stronger (and more final) word for a closing line.