Article View: alt.arts.poetry.comments
Article #804217Re: PPB: Silk Diamond / George Sulzbach
From: tzod9964@gmail.c
Date: Thu, 31 Mar 2022 16:53
Date: Thu, 31 Mar 2022 16:53
54 lines
1628 bytes
1628 bytes
Rachel wrote: > On Thursday, February 24, 2022 at 2:45:22 PM UTC-5, Rachel wrote: >> On Thursday, February 24, 2022 at 11:38:49 AM UTC-8, Rachel wrote: >> > On Tuesday, February 22, 2022 at 4:02:07 PM UTC-8, Zod wrote: > >> > > > > Moon Water Dance >> > > > > >> > > > > Negativity of the past >> > > > > taints my future. >> > > > > Implanted between >> > > > > the buttons. >> > > > > >> > > > > Oh, Fate >> > > > > bring me answers. >> > > > > To the questions >> > > > > I cannot bear to ask. >> > > > > >> > > > > Enchanted time >> > > > > sitting on a bank of sand. >> > > > > Aquatic energy flows >> > > > > Eternal balance >> > > > > Of molecules moving. >> > > > > >> > > > > To my eyes >> > > > > from the night sky. >> > > > > I watch the Moon dance >> > > > > over Venus. >> > > > > >> > > > > ------------------- >> > > > > Poem by General Zod (emendment by Rachel) >> > > >> > > Hello Rachel... >> > I don't like 5 lines though. >> > >> > What if you took out the Dylan nod altogether? >> > >> > Enchanted time >> > Aquatic energy flows >> > Eternal balance >> > Of molecules moving. >> > ? >> i don't know. i don't want to mess with your poem. i feel like i'm gutting it out. >> >> just forget it. > I likes your input, R....! > Thanks G. As I mentioned, I came back around a while ago, and liked it best in your own finalized version, before I started screwing around with it. :) Hi RACHEL.... wish you were here at the camp with Mike and me,. having a party of all parties tonight.... Hope Doc will journey down this way as well.... Watching the River flow.....!
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