🚀 go-pugleaf

On Monday, December 27, 2021 at 11:45:18 PM UTC-5, Will Dockery wrote:
> George J. Dance wrote: 
> 
> > On Tuesday, December 14, 2021 at 3:22:41 PM UTC-5, Will Dockery wrote: 
> >> On Tuesday, December 14, 2021 at 5:57:55 AM UTC-5, George J. Dance wrote: 
> >> > On Sunday, December 12, 2021 at 9:38:52 PM UTC-5, rao...@gmail.com wrote: 
> >> > 
> >> > > Let's Prune Our Sadness 
> >> > > 
> >> > > The aim of us must 
> >> > > be of good cheer. 
> >> > > The angular rust 
> >> > > along THE year. 
> >> > > 
> >> > > Ro 
> >> > Hi, Richard; it's good to read something by you here again. I hope you're sticking around to read responses. 
> >> > 
> >> > This reads to me like an epigram. In the beginning 2 lines, you did; at least to me. People are here to (alive, on earth) to enjoy themselves; that's basically the point or the 'meaning' if one wants to get pretentious, to their existence. And the holidays are a time to celebrate that, to live on the basis of pure enjoyment. It's not an original insight, of course ("'Tis the season to be jolly" is from an old poem), but That's not a knock on it: epigrams are supposed to express human truths, not original ideas. It's certainly not a cliche as it's not something people talk or think about much. Your wording is odd, but that's the point of epigrams as well, to express old truths in a new and different way. Your not amazing, but it's novel (so potentially more memorable) and completely intelligible. 
> >> > 
> >> > Your LL 3-4, OTOH, are not intelligible at all to me. I have no idea what the 'angular rust' means; I take it means the 'cheer' is, but I don't see any connection. 'Rust' is old, decaying, brittle, dull; my reaction to the word is almost the opposite of. The best I can see is that the good cheer (which I've already equated with the holidays) is the way to scrape off rust that's been building up on one's life all year, to sort of polish up one's life and have it shine again: to renew ourselves. That's a sensible idea, and even gives me an explanation for the title -- pruning or trimming trees or hedges is another example of renewal. If it is what you mean, though, it's poorly expressed; it took me about 15 minutes to "decode" that out of it, and I don't think the average reader, of average intelligence, ever would. 
> >> > 
> >> > So I'd urge you to rewrite. Let me pretend to be your teacher for a minute, and give you a reading assignment. 
> >> > 
> >> > The Mahogany Tree, by William Makepeace Thackeray 
> >> > https://gdancesbetty.blogspot.com/2012/12/mahogany-tree-thackeray.html 
> >> > 
> >> > This is the poem your LL 1-2 made me think of, because it comes closest to their spirit (or at least to the spirit of what I got from them). It's a rather long poem, but quick to read because of the short lines; and I think it holds up well to the end. I'm not saying use any of it, but reading it may give you ideas, one of which could end up being a much better completion of your epigram. 
> >> Now, there's a real poetry critique. 
> >> 
> >> 😉 
> 
> > Thanks. Too bad he didn't deign to notice it.
> I suspect that Richard has already left the building again.

It would not surprise....